Look up

 

What do you do with a gift that you don’t want?

Some give it away, some throw it out

But what do you do when that gift is your life

And you want to throw it all away cuz you’ve given up the fight

What’s your life for you to take it away?

Listen my child to what I have to say:

 

More than the love of all the mothers combined, that’s true

Yet still you don’t know how much I love you

I’ve been watching over you everyday my child

And it made me happy to see that glisten in your eyes

But as you grew older it somehow faded

Crowded by the lies and the drama, life gets jaded

So as you grew older, my voice grew softer

 

It’s really that you don’t seem to understand me

I prayed every night begging on my knees

Lord take away the pain and help me to see clearly

But you left me alone with no one, NOBODY!

It seemed as if the God I knew when I was younger

Could no longer stay around now that I was older

The screams of my heart were louder than ever before

All inside where nobody but you could hear but still you ignored

 

That night I saw you as you cried endlessly alone

And as your loving father I sought only to console

But my whispers of encouraging words, my subtle attempt

Were bombarded by those same screams of your heart, you just didn’t relent

The next day I tried again, I started in nature with a simple sign

Yet your head was bowed too low that day to notice the rainbow in the sky

So I had your mother prepare that dessert I know you like best

But that evening after school you went straight to your room, you were too depressed

‘….but wait I have something for you’ your little brother said

But before he could say more you had slammed the door and were already in bed

You slept with the appearance of a peace I wish you truly knew

But it just got worse, there was no getting through

 

I woke up dreading yet another day of living this lie

It would be so much easier if I could just take my life

I decided that I really had nothing to lose

And with that I began thinking of which method I should use

First I wrote a letter explaining the ‘solution’ I had found

Not that it would matter once I was no longer around

And as I took my last breath determined to go through with it

I saw the paper that started a moment I could never forget

I opened it up and this is what it read:

 

Today my teacher told us to write the name of one person that you couldn’t live without. Apart from mom you are the one of whom I thought. I wanted to tell you because I realise that lately we haven’t played like we used to but I don’t want you to forget that you’re still the best sister ever and I love you…

 

How could I have been so selfish and blind?

That day he yelled after me, this was the ‘something’ he had in mind

I had fallen so deeply into my own pitiful feelings

To realise that even if not to me, my life had so much meaning

I had resolved to try harder and to seek the God I let myself forget

I looked up to the heavens to tell him how I felt

It had been so long since I’d seen a rainbow in the sky

And I thought to myself, ‘this must be one of the ways in which God smiles’

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Chronicles of the Chrysalis
    Nov 05, 2015 @ 19:28:16

    i think i read this one before but it always puts a smile on my face..thanks for this one..great writing!

    Reply

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