Dilemmas of a masochistic lover

Why do I keep going back when I know how it will end?
You are the junk food that I poison my body with time after time
So good but yet toxic in great quantities
And I have taken you in abundantly in greater doses than I was able to digest
And now I’m physically upset from the excess
Even mentally upset from just the thought of you
Has love turned me into a masochist?
But you see, love does not thrive on pain
So then it must be a crazy spell of infatuation that has me under a curse which I cannot escape

Your eyes are endless in wrapping me in
And your presence is like quicksand
So the more I try to get away the deeper I fall into your trance
And we go back and forth in this endless dance
But now the music is coming to an end
And the onlookers have all cleared
So I’m left in the middle of the dance floor alone yet again
While you whisper to someone else ‘May I have this dance?’

I promised myself that I would not fall in love again
While my mind agreed, somewhere along the lines my heart inserted the word ‘unless’ into the clause
And by the time I realised, I had already fallen for you

So I wish I could tell her it’s a trap
That I’ve been down that road before and it’s a dead end
But maybe you’d have some luck
Maybe you’d be the one to restore colour to that fading rainbow
So you can find your pot of gold
Maybe I was the problem

I stand here broken when I thought there was nothing left to break
Im broken
Like the silence that I have broken with my screaming outbursts of pain
Medicine can only curb physical pain
But there’s no emotional quickfix, no cure for heartbreak
I long to destroy the boomerang that you’ve placed on my heart as it makes me come back to you
Each and every time without fail
Let my fear of you truly make it the last time
This is without a doubt my final goodbye

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Game of love

I entered the room and our eyes locked instantly
Suddenly my palms became sweaty
I didn’t realise that being weak in the knees was meant literally
And that my heart could beat so fast and yet not fail me

I want you

That was the thought I repeated
Like that annoying song you catch yourself singing
Because it drove me crazy but I couldn’t let it go
Too closed off to say I’d give you a chance
Too hurt to enter the realm of romance

My overwhelming fear disqualified me from this game called love
Until my vulnerability let me back in
Only to end up a loser yet again
You knew the rules or invented them along the way
I wonder. Which was your favourite game to play?

Truth or dare:
Do you dare me to take this chance with you?
Because I can tell that the feelings are true

Clue:
It was YOU who stole MY HEART with the weapon of YOUR WORDS in the place where I felt most comfortable, YOUR ARMS.

Twister:
Joyful roller coaster filled with colour
Didn’t matter if we fell,we always started over

Tetris:
Determined to make it work till we realised the pieces just didn’t fit
Yet I still pondered for a while when the screen prompted me ‘Are you sure you want to quit?’

Snakes and ladders:
The usual ups and downs, inevitable setbacks
We took one step forward but always made three steps backwards

Ludo:
Trying to no avail to find a way home
Striving to make a good impression on your family
But maybe for not being the right colour they couldn’t accept me

Monopoly:
It seems that all you had just wasn’t satisfying
The girls next door were more enticing
Why not take a card from the community chest?
But flip it over and see what you really get

Cards:
Suddenly one fell to the floor
Like you it was nothing but a joker
I decided that maybe it was time to start over
What I’m trying to say is goodbye, game over

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