Mixed Signals

 

img-20160830-wa0013_liWe are all too familiar with mixed signals, sometimes much to our detriment, embarrassment and social suicide. From the most trivial ‘Is that person waving at me or someone behind me?’ to the more gut wrenching ‘Does he like me or does he like me like me?’ Let’s face it, regrettably, mixed signals and awkward situations are things we cannot seem to escape so we learn to live with them. Given that nice introduction and all, I would like someone to explain to me the situation that is happening in the picture above.

*dramatic pause for a moment of deep reflection and contemplation on life*

So…..will the real Slim Shady please stand up? (if she don’t catch that reference she too young for you bro, RUN!!) Ok ok but seriously, I could not help but laugh when I saw this ‘corrected’ error because of the random thoughts and questions that ran through my mind.

  • These two items aren’t even remotely related in terms of packaging. Hmm very suspicious.
  • Is this an exotic hybrid of sweet peppers? Fresh, goat sweet peppers…yum!
  • Is this sweet peppers or fresh goat? Can I use a lifeline please?  I’d like to ask the audience….jk we can all see that it’s clearly fresh goat.
  • Why wasn’t your hand placement higher so as to facilitate the appropriate correction of this error?
  • Ripping off the old label would have meant redoing the entire plastic wrap so lemme just slip this here real quick. Haters will say it’s laziness but we all know it’s called being ‘thrifty’ because all of a sudden you do care about saving your employers even more money than they already make.
  • Wonder what else they mixed up the labels on? #boycottoverpricedgroceries #babylonsystem #whosayhomegarden
  • Etc. etc because we all know I’m an overthinker

It’s not that I care that much about grocery store labels but if I didn’t care then what would I blog about right? Take a look at the next image.

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Which came first, the pancake or the sausage? Some may argue that animals were created first but I bet they’ve been having pancakes in heaven’s breakfast buffet since forever. Anyway, did this sausage not have a particular name before the invention of pancakes? If the word ‘pancake’ is an adjective in this scenario then I am quite perplexed. Is the pancake describing the batter used to cover the hotdog? Is it describing the type of sausages often eaten with pancakes? I NEED ANSWERS!!! This screams mixed signal and quite frankly I think they were doing a great job with the name corn dogs (maybe those originated in China #nochill).

Finally, allow me to draw reference to another example in which I was also very confused because whereas there was no question as to the product displayed, the prices were all different.

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Now, I would have liked someone to explain to me this manner of foolery as all three brushes had a different price. You can’t see the price on the last one but I promise you it was different and they clearly are all the same #76307 face brush. I was unable to count the bristles to see if perhaps some had more and if that would account for the variety in price. If I were to use a very accurate comparison I would say that the pricing gun is our consciences and the brush is ourselves. Some days I look at myself and I’m like YES!!! I am a studio master! *see label on packaging* I see a banging body, great hair and a cute, radiant smile that’s just as shiny as the silver part of the brush and I know to myself that I’m worth a whopping $31.95. Other times I feel hideous and I don’t look in the mirror for fear that it may shatter and ain’t nobody got time to clean broken glass when you’re busy crying over spilled milk right? On these days when my bristles are ruffled and I’m exhausted, my market value is reduced to $29.50. Granted the evident exaggeration, I know I’m not alone in this fight. I see you over there, you personification of a #76307 CALA face brush. We even give our own selves mixed signals, do you love me self or do you not?

Lesson time kiddies! There are many instances in which mixed signals drive us insane because we don’t like the uneasiness of uncertainty. Trivial issues pass quickly but in instances that have greater implications and require a bit more thought then my advice to you is to relax, clear your mind, be positive and know that everything will work out in due time….. or will it? See what I did there? #mixedsignal #plot twist. Just kidding! Keep your chin up and keep going because things will all get clearer soon enough!!!

Stop, Listen, Act, Repeat

Speak Lord your servant is listening… to her favourite song,
Reviewing her ambitious goals once again,
Sighing at the mountain of bills on the table,
Stressing over the difficulties at work,
Searching for the next high while struggling through the inevitable lows

Speak Lord your servant is…
Listing all that she has yet to do,
Offering prayers of empty and selfish petitions,
Sinking into a superficiality that knows no bounds
But mainly, ignoring you through the noise cancelling headphones called society as it repeats its soothing playlist of comforting lies.

Stop. Listen. Act. Repeat
Since we’re used to patterns and comforted by routine

Stop rushing through the life that you long to wholeheartedly live
You’re a living,breathing paradox
Trying to live life as you please then crying out to God on your knees
And while your heart speaks your mind hears the opposite
And when your mind reasons, your heart fails to capture it
Do your thoughts travel so far that the distance creates a language barrier which stifles understanding?
So you never come to understand the meeting point for where you are and where you’d like to be
And you can never merge who you are with who you are meant to be
Stop waiting for the right moment when this is the moment you have right now
Stop pursuing what can only provide temporary relief
Stop applying bandaids that never cause your scars to breathe and heal
Stop and listen

Listen to the voice of the ever present optimism
The one buried under the blanket that you’ve woven together with your fears, worries and failures
There’s a voice that never lies, a voice so sweet and soothing that whispers saying
Listen to me
Come to me
Cling to me
Soften your heart to cultivate and understand the words that are meant only for you
Let them bloom and may they inspire too
To provide direction in the journey of life.
And when we are tempted to stray,
May they be the flowers we stop to smell along the way
Listen and act

Act as if you have already received all that  you unceasingly hope and dream for
Be thankful if you don’t knowing that the best is what’s in store
Be the one that brings a positive change
To eliminate the same negativity we’ve all helped to create
If faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains
Then we have the ability to reorder the scenery and liven up the surroundings
Why wait to then live in regret?
This is change and it goes step by step
Direct my paths so that they always lead to you
In everything I say, think and do

Speak Lord your servant IS listening
And if ever the waves of life overwhelm me and I need to retreat
I’ll know that you are there to make me complete
If ever I’m lost saying, “It’s too much, I’m weak and I can’t do it.”
I’ll stop,listen,act and repeat.

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