Elusive raindrop lover

I’ll chase after you
As if we were two raindrops sliding down a window pane
Moving at different paces but our direction’s the same
I’ll catch you eventually somehow
We’ll join so the two shall become one

But the wind of an irresistible hopeless romantic
suddenly blew you off course
You ran in pursuit of the happiness you sought
Our paths would never intertwine
I would drift into a puddle of despair
That would end in a sea of darkness
With such a large expanse of water
There’s no way of telling one drop from the other
I thought then that I had lost you forever

A few years later I glanced over to that girl on the bench
You sat there alone staring at your feet
I sat there beside you
My presence was all I could offer
The two drops met again at the chin of this heartbroken lover
As proof that the elusive raindrops were meant for each other
In that moment a lost love gave birth to another
And I knew it was a sign that we’d be together forever


Rest in peace dear heart

Being an involuntary heart donor leaves you lifeless.
I was willing to share my heart with you
but in the end you left and took it entirely
Boldly and without remorse as if it had always belonged to you.

My mind threw out a life jacket for my heart but it was rejected
and by the time my heart decided I really needed it
I had already drowned in the ocean of you.
I should have followed the compass of my conscience
while sailing the treacherous waters of your presence.
It was too late when I realised that I had sacrificed smooth sailing
the moment I handed over the steering.

They say one day someone will hug you so tightly
That all your broken pieces will stick back together.
When did you replace that glue with water?
How did u convince me that a chokehold was the hug of a lover?
Love made me blind and so you were my leader.
Well here’s to starting over.

My heart was beaten so it was no longer beating
I was barely alive but no longer living
Now I’m left dead,
Because a body without a heart
is a corpse that has lost it’s reason for being.
And what could be more frightening?

Today I buried you in the graveyard quietly,
in the space where my heart used to be.
The place where lovers go to die.
The place where painful memories reside.
The place where broken dreams unite.

To the person who once meant everything,
You hurt me to the core.

I stand in black
In the darkness brought on by the shadow of your empty promises.
Now I must pay my respects.
Although you were my one and only dearheart,
All I can say to myself now as if it were an apology is

Rest in peace my dear…heart

Dilemmas of a masochistic lover

Why do I keep going back when I know how it will end?
You are the junk food that I poison my body with time after time
So good but yet toxic in great quantities
And I have taken you in abundantly in greater doses than I was able to digest
And now I’m physically upset from the excess
Even mentally upset from just the thought of you
Has love turned me into a masochist?
But you see, love does not thrive on pain
So then it must be a crazy spell of infatuation that has me under a curse which I cannot escape

Your eyes are endless in wrapping me in
And your presence is like quicksand
So the more I try to get away the deeper I fall into your trance
And we go back and forth in this endless dance
But now the music is coming to an end
And the onlookers have all cleared
So I’m left in the middle of the dance floor alone yet again
While you whisper to someone else ‘May I have this dance?’

I promised myself that I would not fall in love again
While my mind agreed, somewhere along the lines my heart inserted the word ‘unless’ into the clause
And by the time I realised, I had already fallen for you

So I wish I could tell her it’s a trap
That I’ve been down that road before and it’s a dead end
But maybe you’d have some luck
Maybe you’d be the one to restore colour to that fading rainbow
So you can find your pot of gold
Maybe I was the problem

I stand here broken when I thought there was nothing left to break
Im broken
Like the silence that I have broken with my screaming outbursts of pain
Medicine can only curb physical pain
But there’s no emotional quickfix, no cure for heartbreak
I long to destroy the boomerang that you’ve placed on my heart as it makes me come back to you
Each and every time without fail
Let my fear of you truly make it the last time
This is without a doubt my final goodbye


Relationship Math

Let’s review some lessons

Listen up, take notes

Class is now in session


We started with a universal set in a world that was ours to treasure

There was a point where we intersected

However, we soon found ourselves in two separate circles

We no longer had anything in common


Question #1

We were different in the numerators of our personality

And the parts of myself that I gave to you were never enough to make you whole

You always wanted to be greater

So how can the two become one without a common denominator?


Question #2

All I have is one heart and I shared it all with you but you didn’t appreciate it.

How many broken pieces am I now left with?

Too many to count

So the problem can’t be solved


Question #3


Brackets, orders, divide, multiply, add, subtract

You placed me in a bracket so I was easier to manipulate

And dished out orders as a means of control

This divided and diminished the love I had for you

And only multiplied my doubts

Which added to my fears and confusion

This could only lead to your subtraction

You have to be taken away as you are an unnecessary distraction


You are so negative that you cancel all my positive efforts

Your hurtful words are like recurring decimals in my mind

They’re never ending

You surpass the limits of disappointment on a scale of one to infinity

You’re an abstract and incomprehensible entity


Somehow I feel as though there’s someone else in this equation

And that unknown variable is x

Specifically your ex

Your ex plus me plus you could never equal us

I don’t want to be caught in a love triangle

While you challenge me to look at it from a different angle

But to me it just seems like you’re more than friends

It can’t just be all in my head


The probability that you would leave was always greater than the chance that you would stay

Unfortunately I realised when I had already given it all away

I know what the answer should be but I don’t know how to work it out

I’m stuck thinking of what this could all be about


So all I seem to have are questions without answers

All we seem to create are problems without solutions

These are all things we could have dealt with, if you only paid more attention

If only you weren’t always absent

So …

Maybe it’s not that u can’t do Math accurately

Or maybe it’s me

Maybe we’re both strong in Math and what’s really weak is our Chemistry


I pray,wish,hope,long,trust

I pray that your wandering eyes lead you to appreciate the wonder of true love

I pray that my vision be purified to gaze in admiration at the aura you manifest by being imperfectly perfect

I wish to savour the unique essence that only you possess and be satisfied by the fullness of how great you are

I wish you taste the sweetness that life has to offer and that in sampling what is not desired you hold firmly to all that is good

I hope that your touch is ever present to reassure me of all I already know and calm my deepest fears

I hope that my touch is always gentle and warm to eradicate the coldness of life’s challenges and speak volumes when words fall short

I long to inhale and experience the calming effects of mutual love and appreciation

I long to strive to be everything you need so you can breathe in all that you crave for and rightfully deserve

I trust that when I speak you hear me,
That the words not only enter your ears but travel further and are understood by your heart and embedded into your soul

I trust that when you speak they are always words of truth that water any drought in my mind and give life to new outlooks






Do you?



Sorry Not Sorry

You never said sorry

And you probably never will

So why am I still waiting knowing that I’m waiting in vain?

I persevere out of the desperation to be consoled

Rather than out of a genuine source of hope

That maybe just one day you will


I won’t ask for what belongs to me

I won’t beg for what I deserve

I refuse to yearn constantly and be left empty

I refuse to be crippled by a mistake not forgiven

But I won’t refuse a sorry even if it’s late


Don’t think that you can cover it over with something material

Because the material of which my heart is made cannot be bought

A broken heart can’t be mended with empty promises and failed attempts

Don’t hide behind the merit of your actions

As if we communicate through interpretive dance



I want to hear the words spoken clearly

As real as you are when you stand near me

As real as the pain I felt when you left me

As real as your apparent inability

To utter two simple words

‘I’m sorry’


I jumble all the phrases you’ve ever uttered

Hoping to find a complete answer

In this crossword that you’ve created with your crossed words

There’s no getting out of the maze of this word search

As I search hopelessly for those words

Which just…

Aren’t there


Now I feel sorry for you

Because you can’t see where you went wrong

Because your moral GPS is broken

So you’ve lost your sense of direction

And when I look in your eyes

The hurt multiplies

I carry your pain and I carry mine

So until your sorry unlocks the handcuffs that are tight enough to cripple me

I’ll be here waiting patiently


Proceed With Caution


If you happen to be taking a drive to Maracas Beach or even further you would notice this sign glaring at you at some point along the way. Are we to assume that drivers then ignore the speed limit reminder and focus only on the ‘NO ENTRY?’ The fact that the ‘NO ENTRY’ sign is already fading, slowly making the 8 and the 0 of the previous sign visible again leaves me to wonder. When in fact the words are completely gone, would that road which you are not allowed to enter then become available but only to cars that are driving within the 80 km/h speed limit? Maybe by then the fading ‘NO ENTRY’ strip will be replaced by another one because reduce, reuse and recycle. Efficiency at its best! Is my feigned ignorance, sarcastic tone and evident exaggeration driving the point home? Allow me to elaborate.

It seems that in Trinidad and Tobago, the money collected from tax is accepted as a love offering that goes directly to the pockets of those in power. This is only the least of many examples. Let me differentiate for those who are a bit unclear. A love offering is given freely to be used as seen fit by the one receiving it. On the other hand, according to the Oxford dictionary a tax is ‘a COMPULSORY contribution to state revenue, levied by the government on workers’ income and business profits, or added to the cost of some goods, services, and transactions’. What would it take to completely replace a simple road sign? I believe that doing simple things well allows you to be exceptional in doing greater things. If this cannot be done effectively then any huge blunder on the part of the government should receive no less than a round of applause and a standing ovation, for they would have successfully perpetuated a culture of complacency and laziness. Change must come and can come if we each do what we ought to. I am aware that no government is perfect but ours leaves a lot to be desired.


I’m with Rihanna on this one,”How bout a round of applause…..”

In addition, for some reason this picture reminds me of the eternal battle that exists between men and women. Men claim that they have yet to understand women while women insist that men won’t take the time to understand them or simply miss what’s glaring them in the face.

See video: Every time I ask my girl what she wants to eat 

So who’s at fault? Is it the man or the woman? The government or the citizens? More importantly, rather than blaming others we ought to take responsibility. The government has a role to play and if not, the citizens ought to demand change. Women ought to be very clear and stop expecting men to read hints or figure out the sudoku puzzle that is the female species while men must recognise that they will never come to understand what they have already deemed incomprehensible (this is not a love column but just saying).Ambiguity creates barriers and gates of confusion but fortunately communication is the key. So give it a try and the next time you find yourself in a compromising position, take a deep breath, count to ten and proceed with caution.






Unanswered questions




What… did I get myself into?


If I knew that it would have started with a simple glance

Would I risk it now? Would I take that chance?

Your smile triggered a chain reaction

A whirlpool of feelings, emotional satisfaction


Yet these are the ones that I’ve come to hate

It seems like they came just a little too late

Don’t be surprised by the little child’s frown

The hate filled reply ‘Why can’t I have it? I waited so long’


Although by our words we can say it no longer

When words fly away, actions speak louder

I try to not be the one who’s left holding on

‘Cause when a heart breaks no it don’t break even’


Yet you understand it all, the thoughts in my head

Isn’t it funny how what’s worth the most are the things left unsaid

I’ll rather spend forever with you being silent by intention

Than listen to forced and fabricated verses of your affection


So what’s left?


A bittersweet memory

An unpublished fairy tale

A saddened heart

A dream in flight

..False hope


And in that letter I wrote to you saying:

‘I stepped onto the bridge of love to reach you but it collapsed beneath my feet

Unable to sustain the weight brought on by my inability to love you

While loving you at the same time

And from the other side you watched silently

Unable to lend the hand that I was painfully longing to hold’


And as much as it may seem

It can never suffice to express all that I feel

But I know that in my heart what I feel you feel as well

Even though you make it so at times I can’t quite tell

But if it’s one thing that always gets me through

Is knowing that with love there can never be a me without you


What if


It seems smart to avoid what brings the most pain

But hmmm… then again…


I just can’t, I held up for so long but I adore pain is what it seems like

Now I know the pain of losing this fight

How do you cope with a dream that was broken from the start?

When you found out too late and knew you couldn’t turn back

Or rather you ignored earlier warnings resulting in your self-inflicted pain

Was it all time spent in vain?


Don’t want to be stuck in the memory

‘What’ and ‘If’ so perfect when they’re apart

But together it hurts, it rips out your heart

Seems much like the story we both share

Much like the reason for every tear

And so as much as I try to erase it from my mind

There’s always that ‘what if’ brewing on the inside


What if:

Fairy tales went beyond just endless lines

And everlasting love was not impossible to find


What if:

Your heart’s desire would coincide with the other

Bringing the happiness you sought after


What if:

You didn’t have to depend on what others would say

Cause you experienced it yourself. Luckily hope passed your way


What if:

You could just bask in the freedom of expressing how you felt

Knowing without a doubt that what people said was what they meant


They say, ‘What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn’t fail?’

What WOULDN’T I do seems more appropriate

Hmmm. What would I do?


Have you ever realised how we react when we get the ‘freedom’ we so longed for

The way all the things we planned seem to exist no more

It’s because we know all too well what we ought to do

And fool ourselves into thinking that the false things in life must somehow be true


But I no longer want to be a fool for loving you

When we both know it’s never coming true

I can no longer falsify what remains a reality

The obvious and fatalistic separation between you and me

So again I’m starting over hoping that even if a little you can in some way identify

Cause we promised not to say another word and I really try


Even as I close this envelope and send it far away

I know that there’s so much I didn’t say

But true love has a way of filling those spaces

And so all I wrote was all that was needed


Signed, sealed and delivered

Most truly, Your Forbidden love



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