Stink and Dutty

I’m sure a lot of you would be familiar with the song that is alluded to in the title of this blog post. Many people revelled to this popular tune and some even acted as if the much awaited collaboration between Machel Montano and Bunji Garlin was finally going to be the one thing that would be able to change the price of cheese or at least account for an increase in one’s salary. Anyway, point being that this was a much celebrated song, however, I see very little to dance about in the picture seen below. 2016-02-27_17-46-11

In this picture, there is nothing fun about being stink and dutty. Apart from the many concerns that these pictures would raise about one’s health and more so one’s personal hygiene, the most surprising for me was the fact that this business place was none other than a variety store. Do you know what this means? This means that a VARIETY of items are sold, one of those items being fans. Oh what a convenient but very much ignored fun fact. Now let’s not pretend that we all clean our fans with the same enthusiasm and faithfulness with which we watch the new episode of our favourite series weekly. *cough* Game of Thrones *cough* However, when the fan looks as if its modeling a new line of fur coats designed by Kim Kardashian then I think that warrants some level of cleaning. One can barely see the other side through the fan and God forbid you try to perfect your robot voice on one of these and choke on a dust bunny.

Furthermore, , if you really would prefer not to clean the fan then here’s a wild thought, why not take one that’s on sale to replace this one? When I walked into the store I did not sign up for a dust facial mask, sand bath or Sahara desert simulation but surely enough this LASKO fan was keen on sprinkling me with it’s prized collection of dust particles.

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This way to a poo.

I’ll have to say that what strikes me as stink and dutty in this picture is the level of idleness it suggests and the total disregard for public places. I fail to believe that the missing letters on the sign can be attributed to any reason other than human intervention. It’s upsetting that in a public pool, a sign that is supposed to read ‘This way to washroom’ would instead say ‘This way to a poo’. It’s mainly upsetting because in this instance it’s just a sign but this sort of tampering happens in different places and in other aspects in ways that are very off putting.

Given that mini rant and at the risk of sounding hypocritical, it would be remiss of me to ignore the striking linguistic value of this mixture of humour and semantics. One may say that either sign fulfills its purpose of directing the reader to the right place (if you get my drift). Others may focus on the ambiguity of the statement ‘This way to a poo’ in which case I would definitely be heading in the other direction.

What I’m trying to point out is that sometimes we deliberately neglect to do what would make life better for others in order to fulfill our selfish pursuits and we glorify or allow things that otherwise should be changed. Would it be so hard to clean or replace the fan? Is the sign simply a meaningless prank or is it a reflection of a deeper issue that we  often bypass. As I said earlier, in this instance it’s ‘just a fan’ and ‘just a sign’ but let’s not be indifferent and complacent because we realise that the implications of these things don’t affect us directly or personally enough.

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Spelling duz nut matter…part tree (3)

I once knew someone from Cuba who spent a great deal of time thinking that garden slaw was really written as ‘garden’s law’.Given the fact that English would not have been her first language, we can safely say that it’s a mistake which can be excused and laughed off even a few years later. In these cases of overlap with foreign languages we tend to be more understanding so I was really taken aback when I stumbled upon the following sign a few weeks ago. Funny enough, the picture I’m about to draw reference to is also slaw related hmmm…. very suspicious indeed *insert out of context reference to Illuminati conspiracy theory here*.

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Firstly, I would like to know why the ‘&’ sign is imitating a one legged dollar sign, but as you will soon realise, this is the least of our worries. I was then tempted to give this blog the title of ‘Artistic Representation of a Dumb Blonde’ but my conscience stepped in somewhere to remind me of a few words and phrases such as care,morals, tact and of course the need to always be polite so as not to offend.

download-2However, my biggest concern is that I would like to know from whence cometh the spelling ‘coldslaw’. It is slaw and it is cold so why not right? Wrong! Even the pronunciation of that ‘d’ is highly unnatural,  (say it with me slowly….. colllDslaw, now laugh at how retarded you sound having said it more than once) it just takes too much effort and if it’s one thing we specialise in here in Trinidad and Tobago is using the least effort possible. Can I get an amen?

  • Paving roads?… least effort possible
  • Giving back pay…least effort possible
  • Any government related business….least effort possible
  • Customer service…..ERROR 404: NO EFFORT WHATSOEVER

Also, is that spelling of barbeque (BABEcue) supposed to be some sort of sick reference to the pig in the movie Babe? because…. #bbqpork #bbqpigtail #dohsaydat. If not then what is so great about it for it to be called not just BABEcue but ‘special BABEcue’ hmmmm. Now, being the person that I am, I purposefully passed back a few days later to see if there was anything special on the menu and by anything special I mean any incorrectly spelt words. I was not disappointed; see for yourselves.

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Well, well, well, what do we have here? There was absolutely no indication that this was a Chinese restaurant and yet they are serving ‘butterfly BARKED chicken’. hhahahahaha Then they want to say that Chinee people don’t sell dog but when you look at the sign, survey says…… BARKED! Who let the dogs out?? Definitely not these people because apparently they were on the menu that day lol.

Or maybe this is just a long lost nursery rhyme that we never learnt, because if the cow could jump over the moon and the dish could run away with the spoon then who’s to say that the butterfly can’t bark the word chicken or that chicken can’t be butterfly barked? Absolutely no one, but have no fear because if your taste buds have yet to acquire the taste for man’s best friend you can always have the BABEcue special for $25. It changed from special babecue to babecue special, kudos for the variation in word order now work on that spelling. Needless to say, I won’t be able to blog about these things if everyone spelt every word correctly, if everyone took those apparently long and excruciatingly painful 60 seconds to simply review and correct their signs before putting them on display. Thank you to all my unsuspecting providers of blogging material.

Stay tuned for part four of this series!

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